I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
