He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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