can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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