There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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