I'm gonna have a badass scar
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
