Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
North Korea, Best Korea!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
