one two three fourrrrnication!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
