i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
