so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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