i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
