Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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