Whoa Z and x make the same sound
babies were throwing up all over the place
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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