Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize