Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
