I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
