Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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