i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
