dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
