there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
