Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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