Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
