i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
