Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Randomize
