i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
