I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
