You just made me feel so damn special
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
