i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
