i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
