Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
