My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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