I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I puked a lego.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
