Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
