i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
