We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
