Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
