At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
