just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
