Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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