Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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