i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
