Who wears a wallet chain?!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
