Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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