he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
