whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
