I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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