Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
