Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
