he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
