I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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