he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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