Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
