i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
