Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
