How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am mentally ready for anal.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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