arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
